Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I was an AOL news story...for a day

It's the ultimate shot of adrenaline. More powerful than a combination of espresso with a Red Bull chaser. It's the 7 a.m. text from your mother: Tracy, you're a lead AOL news story this morning.

And sure enough. There I stood at the position of attention, wearing those giant 1980s' glasses, as my commanding officer promoted me to sergeant in front of my fellow Marines in our Okinawa, Japan, office. I'd just given birth to twins (nearly eight pounds each) only seven weeks earlier.

But the AOL headline...salacious for attention grabbing....oh, those marketing wizards. They certainly know how to spin a good tale.

The link took readers to an excerpt of Eyes Right on the Huffington Post blog. As of today, more than 400 readers have commented. Most of them so negative I had to warn my husband, my daughter, my ex-husbands, and my closest friends.

Actually, I agree with many of the negative comments. Those who complain the excerpt didn't tell them enough about the "affair" are absolutely right. Unfortunately, I wasn't involved in the shaping of this excerpt for HuffPo. Had I been, I'd have delivered a more direct read.

As for the comments about how dare I air my dirty laundry in public...I get those, too. This book took me nearly ten years to write for that very reason. To write a memoir -- a good one, anyway -- a writer must be willing to expose the dark side of her moon. I resisted for a long time. Instincts for self-preservation run deep, especially for a woman with an abusive childhood background.

Thankfully, writing mentors called me out for glossing over too many issues, and I forced myself to examine the motives behind my relentless drive to succeed in the Marines and the affair that ended such a promising career. Is this airing dirty laundry? Sure. As are addiction memoirs, grief memoirs, etc. Airing dirty laundry is inescapable in memoir.

So for the better part of yesterday, I was an AOL news story. My cell phone burned up with supportive calls from friends and family who thought I must be bruising from all the negativity. Sure, the exposure felt Jerry Springer like, but my calm about it all, my acceptance and even understanding for all the negativity, seemed to surprise everyone but me.

I wrote an entire book that exposes how I faced ten years of negativity as a U.S. Marine. I think I can handle one day as an AOL news story.

137 comments:

Jilly said...

Good job. :)

bkgrigsby725 said...

Ms. Crow,

What that AOL news story did was bring your book to my attention and I went out and bought the Kindle version from Amazon! I'm only about 1/3 of the way through the book, but as a former Woman Marine myself, I applaude you for putting your story out there! I went to boot camp in Jan. 1975 and retired in April 1996 - retired as a SSgt - and I can relate to much of what I'm reading! Ahh - the stories we could tell the world!

Thank you for telling yours!

Tracy Crow said...

Thanks, Jilly!

Tracy Crow said...

Dear bkgrigsby725:
Thanks for the encouragement and support. And you're so right..."the stories we could tell the world!" I've heard from dozens of women Marines in the past two days. So many of their stories are heartbreaking. And yet, each one of them still professes a love for the Corps, as do I. :)

Jade Benay-Dabney said...

At first I was on the bandwagon about the dirty laundry, after stopping to think, I am proud of you and having the courage to tell it like it was. I am a retired USMC CWO2 that has lots of stories, but not the courage, at this time to tell them. I have been retired for 10 years and just recently started my own personal recovery process of so many things from the 20 years and life in general. Semper Fi, Do or Die, Take no shit and never let them see you cry.

Tracy Crow said...

Hi, Jade -- Thanks so much for the support. Wishing you a speedy recovery process. Writing this book was a cathartic one for me, I can tell you.

Semper Fi, Honey!

off kilter said...

I was never in the service, so I can't comment on that aspect of your memoir, but I commend you for your courage in writing and publishing it. As you have seen, your story empowers others to tell theirs and in the end, Marines or not, we are all connected. As a memoirist and teacher, and recipient of a few negative comments myself about airing the unpleasant experiences in life, I am encouraged by your bravery.

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Dear off kilter: Thanks for your support. Yes, we memoirists have tough choices to make about how much personal exposure is necessary, how much is too much, and how much aftermath we're willing to withstand. Keep writing! And keep in touch!

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